Day One

Well here i am.
Day one.
This is a significant day to me.
I am starting a new phase in my life.
This is the beginning of the first week of my life as an adult. I'm officially 21 years old, and ready to explore new aspects of this world.
I am completely happy with myself. I feel that i am successful and that someday i will finish school, even though it may not be in the "normal" 4 year time frame.
I love my job, and the profession i've chosen, and have huge hopes that it will carry me further.
I am in a ton of debt, most of which my parents have no idea about... i can barely pay my bills, but i'm still here, and i am more grateful of those parts of my life than others who were not stupid at 18, and who don't have to worry about debt. Someday, i will get them paid off, but for now i'm 21 years old, why worry about what i can't change?
I know that i am beautiful and strong. I have confidence in myself, but i'm also realistic.
I know what i look like, and i know that i've let myself go tremendously.
I have some health problems, that need to be taken care of, and today is the day where they are going to be kicked out.
Thank God for my best friend Emily. She is supporting me 100% and she is going to be the backbone to this new task of mine.
I have to lose weight, for myself, and for my health, but also for my future. I am very well aware of my talents, abilities, and beauty, but i am also aware that it is not healthy for me to be this large, and i need to take care of it. I lost 20 pounds earlier in the year, and then i let go of it, and gained some of it back, but i feel like i am larger than i was even at my heaviest weight. I want to be able to take pictures with my friends, and not feel embarrassed to share them..
So... here we are...
Emily and I are going on this Journey together..we have different goals but they are very similar..
she wants to wear a bikini this summer.. and i want to lose 75 pounds by summer...
I can't diet... its not normal..
I don't feel right restricting myself of anything..
so i'm going to just eat healthy.. and sure i might have something that's not healthy.. but i'm going to control the portions, and the amounts of food i am eating.. i need to find other ways of dealing with my stresses than eating, and i need to find distractions from food, because i eat when i'm bored. It's hard to find these distractions when you have no money, but i'm hoping this blog will at least keep me busy for 10 minutes every once in a while. ;)
I'm going to the gym... and i'm drinking lots of water. I'm not eating any fast food for the next 6 months.... NOTHING... i will allow myself subway.. but only a turkey sub.. with no dressing.. nothing else...
i am restricting fast food because it's awful for you, but also because i spend way too much money on food. I need to rely more on cooking and preparing my own meals. It's not going to be easy but this is the end.. i have no other choice.
I will post our goals and calendar of rewards later.. after we finalize them all..
but seriously i am so blessed to have Emily! :) Here we go!!!!!